Psychonauts g-man 08

Here we are: The final g-man from the Psychonauts game.

After replaying the game and getting these quotes I have to admit that these are my absolute favourites. Whoever wrote these lines must've had a great time doing it too, because the House wives have more lines than any other g-man.

Here they are:

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- I am making a pie
- I hope you are not trying to steal my husband. Tramp.

- This is my house and I am responsible for its upkeep.

- Hello and welcome to my house. Please stay and make pies. “My stories” are about to come on.

- I am famous for my pie-making abilities.

- For the last several years I have relied on prescription medication to make it through the days.

- I make pies.

- It is important not to use too much pressure when you are rolling out a pie crest.

- Apple pies are very popular.

- Pies are delicious.

- This rolling pin is a tool I use to make pies.

- Cherry is a flavour of pie.

- Pies come in many flavours.

- Over time my husband will desire me less sexually, but he will always enjoy my pies.

- Pie crests should be rolled outwards from the centre.

- Though I do not receive a pay check I consider my homemaking to be my occupation.

- Rhubarb is a controversial pie variety.

- Children and adults both like to eat pies.

- When my husband drinks excessively I might threaten him with this rolling pin. Though we still love each other very much.

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Information to the people who have not played Psychonauts (be ashamed of yourself):
These characters (g-men) appear in the level named "The Milkman Conspiracy". These undercover agents are pretending to be civil people at different “jobs” (my favourites are probably the grieving widows and the sewer workers) and sucking at it big time. They all talk in a very neutral, emotionless and monotonous voice (kinda like when computers are reading stuff out loud), which is hilarious. I literally spent ten minutes at each different g-man to hear all of the things he had to say.

If you haven't played the game (and thus haven't heard these guys talk) you should try and read the text out loud to yourself with a completely emotionless voice. And then go buy the game.

Here's a list of all the g-men:
Road crew - [link]
Phone crew - [link]
Hedge trimmer - [link]
Grieving widow - [link]
Sewer worker - [link]
Watering crew - [link]
House wives - you're here
Assassin - [link]

The g-men, the quotes and the picture all belong to Double-Fine and Tim Schafer.